There are traditions. The tradition has molded the way you think. There is a culture into which you are fitted. Your thoughts are confined. So what can you do to get a new rationale? You cannot live without peers. You are dependent on the way that your peers may choose to live. This world is of inter dependence. On a larger scale the neighboring community or a larger social behavior conditions your attitude. Employment, career and building of resources and economic activity can occupy your bandwidth. Relationships will have to realign to new norms and realities. New work culture has begun to impose itself. The past generations must learn to cope. Domain expertise, career and relationships are three distinct and parallel realities. It is impractical that they remain merged.
Everybody will seek new things to do. Just like you, the others seek liberation from your dominance. Are you fearing that these people are no more in your control? In effect they are your fear and insecurity. No amount of your complaints about the other person’s behavior will bring peace. There is no fairness in your expression of anger. Those people who were your dependents at one time will manage to outgrow your reasoning. Wisdom is to encourage the fresh career pursuits and yet work to ensure that a light string called relationship is maintained.
Mental skills are essential to upgrade your stature in the work culture. The work culture is extremely demanding. People are inevitably compelled to upgrade their talent and skills. The ability to work is directly linked to getting resources. The new social norm will be achieving target and completing work to a deadline. 360 degree performance appraisal will have to be adhered to. The cookie cutter pattern will be the only way of compliance.
So come out of the shock value. That will be in your interest. Because they were dependent, you dominated. The skill is how to retain your relationship with people who are gravitating towards new professions. You cannot keep them illiterate forever. They are encoded at birth to pursue their interests. Can you be happy that they are maturing? Can you encourage the other people so that they will arrive at their domain expertise? It is unwise to make them a product of your expectations. If your dependents are now giving you feedback about you then are you willing to listen to them? Your adamancy and stubbornness are your enemies. It is not the people or the environment but the rigidity in your perception that brings you misery.
Simply become aware of the source of your mental trauma. Isn’t it your mind? Your understanding about the other people can become limited. Introspection and then disruption of current finite perceptions will help.
In lack of ability to adapt to new trend, aren’t you the one imposing yourself on the decision of the other member of the family? Many people experience a sense of loss when other members of the family start moving away. The secret is to ensure that relationships are intact though the career can be different. The person is not going out of your hand. It is only the personality that is transforming into individualism. Everybody has a seed in them that they must nurture. They will feel compelled to nourish their seed. You should also be pursuing that what is exciting to you, instead of attempting to control other people. Sometimes they could be stronger than you in many field, in that case they may be commanding and you may have to obey. Yet the relationship can stay intact. That is wisdom.
The traditions worldwide has all changed. The professions, cultures and even religions has perished. New behaviors has taken their place. Some breakup is essential. A lot of shake up is inevitable. Creativity is when you are able to make up and move on. Begin your journey now. Let everybody move on to where they are guided. When they look back are they seeing you in their relationship?
Jamila is the wife of Abdul Majid for the past twelve years. Their son is now nine year old. Jamila has discovered her new calling. She has a keen interest in acting. She is rehearsing to be an actor. Her hairstyles and looks and behavior has all got a makeover. Can Abdul Majid cope to a celebrity Jamila?
Son of Antony is Shibu. Shibu at 21 years old never disobeyed his parents. Antony molded Shibu to be an advocate like himself. Shibu has chosen to become a guitarist of a local band instead. Shibu is making it clear to his father Antony that he will not be available, even for daily chores at home. He even warned the parents to refrain from giving any advice or instructions. Can his parents maintain the relation with this new generation?
Ramesh Pai is a proprietor of ‘The Pie Novelty Store’. He almost adopted and then trained Srikanth and Deepak. They literally lived and studied under the guidance of Ramesh Pai. Ramesh Pai had ensured that there is no expenditure from these two boys. Ten years later at age 21 these boys had other ideas. They opened the new novelty store across the Pai Store. They branched out on their own as proprietors. To Ramesh Pai, his own protégé transformed into competitors. How did Ramesh Pai cope with this economic competition?
Rashida’s father is Sulaiman. Sulaiman was shocked to know that 21 year old Rashida was in love with the boy next door. His neighbor 26 year old Mukundan was willing to marry Rashida. Mukundans’ parents had agreed to this alliance. But Suleiman was unrelenting. Mukundan opted to take permission from Sulaiman’s wife Mehroon. Rashida accepted permission from her mother Mehroon. How to console Sulaiman?
About the Author:
Mr. Vinod Kumar is popular columnist from India who provides amazing insights and perspectives on diverse topics. He is a good writer, motivator, trainer, consultant and a mentor to many. His interests span media, politics, sports, food, travel, leisure, and study of the mind. His articles are provided exclusively on finomenon.org